In the village of Badapur, in the searing monsoon heat and humidity of Uttar Pradesh, women and children belonging to the Dalit Musahr communities had gathered for their gatisheel paathshaala session under the open sky, a paathshaala where they learnt functional literacy and shared a space for dialogue. This paathshaala is conducted by Muheem, a grassroots organization that has been working with these communities for their education and empowerment, including preventing Gender Based Violence (GBV), for years now. I had the privilege to observe and participate in this particular gatisheel pathsaala session because I was a representative of Parity Lab, an accelerator that Muheem has partnered with for its leadership and capacity development.
The session was to be initiated by a round of introductions for the Parity Lab team’s benefit. I did expect that some people might be shy in introducing themselves, just as some people everywhere are with introductions, but more so since our team had been positioned as guests who had explicitly come to
‘see’ how Muheem functions. Soon, however, the giggles floating across the circle, the hands fidgeting at the end of the dupattas, and the pointed avoidance of eye contact made it clear that they weren’t just shy- they were very very shy. One of the women actually turned a full 180 degree to steer clear of facing us! After some loving coaxing by the Muheem team, everyone did introduce themselves. It was so fascinating and beautiful to see the hues on the faces of the women and children change as they completed their part, from nervousness to a gentle glow of achievement. While an introduction is a mere formality in many situations, here, it was an exercise in the community becoming slightly more comfortable in claiming their space. It was part of the community’s steps towards focusing the attention on themselves, it was a milestone in their journey to practice asserting significance.
Taking up space to articulate about yourself, and your journey, without seeking undue permission and without giving primary importance to how someone else might evaluate you, is such a radical act of resistance in a society built to invisibilise you. Caste system dictates the marginalized to shrink, to disappear, to always embody unwantedness and unworthiness. It thrives on maintaining hierarchies through not giving space to speak and to be. The Dalit Musahar community, with their caste name translating to ‘rat-eating’ community, have been on the violent receiving end of historically unrelenting exclusion. For me, Muheem’s programs-wide focus on enabling these marginalized communities to become more confident in expanding their presence is an extremely critical priority.
In many areas of their work, Muheem has made remarkable strides with the community on this journey. For instance, in the village of Kardhana Pratappur, the children not only more confidently give their name and family name during introductions to outsiders, but also make it a point to talk about what they dream of becoming when they grow up, in their introduction itself. This was consciously enabled by the Muheem team, and it speaks volumes about how they are planting seeds of self-determination, reflection and confidence in these children.
The Muheem team itself comprises the communities Muheem works with, and they have themselves undergone this journey of embracing reflective public speaking and space taking. To support them on this journey, Muheem regularly sends them for training with their partner organizations outside the village as well, to enable a more wholesome self-assurance that comes with traveling beyond your home base. The team was visibly trying to showcase its hard work in learning public speaking by putting their best foot forward in sessions with Parity Lab. However, the specter of perfection was looming throughout, threatening to trim the dialoguing to only what was classified as ‘good enough to be shared with everyone’- I could recognise it not only because some of the team members explicitly verbalized it as their fear, but also because obsession with perfection haunts and stops me too. Taking the spotlight without fearing evaluation is a hard journey, so kudos to the team for labeling it and trying to engage with us in overcoming it, even for that one session.
Perhaps what is one of the most difficult things to articulate is setting boundaries.
Maybe that is why an activity on boundary setting in one of our mental wellness sessions with the Muheem team stuck with me.The exercise was seemingly straightforward: one volunteer, let's call them X, stood inside a circle marked by a simple rope, while another volunteer approached them slowly. X's task was to connect with their own physical sensations and decide when the approaching volunteer should stop, signaling discomfort with the proximity. Dr. Sanjyot Pethe, guiding the activity, keenly observed how some volunteers, despite feeling uncomfortable (as displayed by the unease increasing on their expressions as the approaching person neared), delayed expressing their boundaries verbally. When asked, these volunteers explained that they hesitated to speak up immediately because of the approaching person's perceived authority in the workplace.
This was such a profound moment. It was a snapshot of the struggle many face in promptly articulating boundaries.
It underscored the real-life consequences of not feeling empowered to assert boundaries timely, i.e., allowing injustices to persist.
People often ask women, marginalized women, why they did not speak up timely against violence, why they did not draw their boundaries well even when they had realised they were being unfairly treated.
Do we really understand that for someone who has never really been given space, speaking up can be especially hard when it’s about setting boundaries, when it is about claiming space enough to not allow anyone to enter beyond a point?
If we combine this with systems that do not listen to women even when they muster the courage to speak up, such as police stations that send them away, and courts that crawl through proceedings, we see the grim picture of violence perpetuation being painted.
This is why it is so important to not just encourage women to take space, but also to create institutions, especially justice-serving institutions, that give them that space, because taking space is Herculean as it is.
As we go further with Muheem in our journey in Parity Lab via the dedicated Muheem leaders, it is the need and stories of these remarkable team members and community people that we hope to keep in the forefront. They make up the essence of Muheem’s inspirational impact, and we are excited to enable strategies that could make their voices louder.
by Smriti Singh, Associate Program Manager at Parity Lab
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